Baby Showers 101: Etiquette

by Charmaine L. Smoot

Being aware of etiquette helps the hostess of a baby shower ensure her event is a success for the expectant mother and guests. While many of the formal practices observed in the past have been relaxed, many of the traditional rules of etiquette have survived for a very good reason: they take the guesswork out of planning the shower and help set everyone's expectations!

Invitations - Setting the Tone of the Shower

Baby shower invitations should reach the guests two to three weeks in advance to allow them enough time to 1) arrange their schedules, 2) hire baby sitters, and 3) shop for gifts.

Hosting - Who gets the Honor?

It's been tradition that the honor of hosting the baby shower belonged only to friends of the pregnant mom. If a family member hosted the event, it gave the appearance of an event designed to solicit gifts for the expectant woman. Now, however, that rule has been bent to the point of breaking. Anyone can throw a baby shower to honor the mom-to-be... including the woman herself!

Because hosting a baby shower can be quite expensive in terms of both time and money, someone who gladly volunteers for the honor is best for the job. Never put someone on the spot and ask him/her to host a shower. Volunteer hosts who are happy to perform this service for their friend or family member are the best hosts to have.

Timing of the Shower

The baby shower is usually held before the birth of the baby. In the very late stages of the pregnancy, there is a tendency for fears to set in for a variety of reasons - bodily discomfort, stress, worry about the delivery - so the baby shower is often times just the diversion the mom needs to ease her mind.

Just the sight of old friends and relatives at the shower can help ease away concerns for the pregnant woman. Having all those loved ones around for help and support can make an invaluable contribution to her mental health. And while baby showers were traditionally only held for the woman's first child, it's now quite acceptable to have showers for every child, including adoptees.

Guest List

While it may be tempting to do all the planning for the expectant mother, having her input on the guest list is critical. There may be many guests she'd like to include on the guest list whom the host doesn't know. And though traditionally, baby showers were only for women, the mother nowadays can choose to have both men and women at her gathering. In fact, a greater number of baby showers are being held for both the mom and dad today.

Behavior

Since the entire reason for the event is to celebrate the upcoming birth, every guest is expected to congratulate the expectant parents. And as with all other parties, the guests should also give plenty of thanks to the host for organizing and holding the shower.

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