When Your World Turns Upside Down: Coping Strategies for New Moms
Mar 30th 2009Christy Cuellar-WentzBabies
A volatile stock market, unpredictably disastrous weather, home mortgage crises and tightening credit crunch all add up to increasingly difficult home environments. Some of the most at-risk members of our population include pregnant and postpartum mothers. They are already coping with tremendous hormone and brain chemistry changes, and have a biological imperative to establish a safe haven for their new charges.
Parental stress levels directly impact the stress levels of the sensitive young minds of babies and children. New mothers and fathers who find themselves overloaded and unprepared for the challenges that face them need practical ways to cope with the instability that can make the creation of a stable home life impossible. Here are some ways to help both parent and child:
1. Focus on the moment. There may be a hundred problems that you need to cope with. You cannot possibly tend to them all at once. Just focus on one at a time. Most importantly, check if you and your family are safe for now. If not, ask yourself what you need to do to assure the most basic needs are met, and follow through. If you are safe, even for the night, breathe and allow a moment of gratitude for even the smallest blessings.
2. Allow Yourself to Be Honest. You may need to temporarily suppress some emotions for the sake of being able to move forward in the world, but ignoring your feelings completely can be dangerous. Give yourself permission to feel whatever is going on inside. Do an internal check. Are you mad, glad, sad, scared or some combination of these?
3. Connect with Someone. You may not realize it yet, but you are not alone. Connecting to share your story can bring back your sense of sanity. It can also comfort other people in need. Quantity doesn't matter much, or even the means of connecting. The internet can provide a way to reach out to support groups if you haven't found supportive people locally. A single, supportive human connection can do a world of good.
4. Nurture Yourself. Ask yourself what you love with each of your senses. What do you love to hear? What do you love to taste? What do you love to feel? What do you love to smell? What do you love to see? Write your answers down, and be creative. Spa days, massages and fancy dinners are great, but the object here is to find small but meaningful ways to nurture yourself every day. You may be surprised to find the variety of simple, inexpensive ways to bring pleasure through multiple senses. A cup of favorite tea or coffee can nourish your sense of taste, smell, touch, and even sight if you take the time to focus and enjoy it. Stroking a cat or dog can be tremendously soothing, nourishing your sense of touch and bringing a sense of connection at the same time. It is possible to become aware of beauty even in some of the harshest environments.
5. Cover the Basics. Sleep, eat, drink water, and breathe. It may not seem like much, but accomplishing these basics will give you strength and help you through to easier times.
6. Ask Others for Help. This is no sign of weakness. On the contrary, you prove your competence by asking for help for yourself and your family when you need it. Do you need help finding information, food, housing, resources, or a supportive network? People might not know what you need unless you tell them. Don't let your pride interfere. Give yourself permission to ask for help and increase your chances of finding the resources you need.
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